Evan's Eulogy for Emily

When people used to ask me what my sister was like, I never had a really good answer for them. Because she just wasn't like anyone else. There wasn't anyone I could compare her to. And the typical shorthand didn't apply to Emily.

For example, what did she do for a living? Well, she used to do quality control, on audio books for the blind, until she was fired for being too friendly.

What were her hobbies? Well, she was a junior volcanologist, she square danced, she liked to send away for promotional videotapes about male pattern baldness treatments.

You tell people these things, and it really doesn't get them any closer to understanding who Emily was. I mean, I've just told you four things about her, out of hundreds or thousands of things that you could say, and there probably is not another person, who has ever walked the face of the earth, who shares those same four traits. She's already that distinct from everyone else, and I've barely told you anything about her.

Now, I'd originally planned to read some of her emails to you, and use her own words to describe her, but I started going through what she'd written, and the more I read, the more I realized there was something else there. Because one way to understand someone is to read what she wrote. But the other way is to see who she wrote to. And the more and more emails I went through, the more I realized that Emily had touched the lives of a lot more people than we ever knew.

So I'd like to tell you about just a few of the people that Emily wrote to. For the sake of time, this is a HIGHLY truncated list. This is just to give you a sense of what Emily was up to.

Her correspondents included people in uniform, like:

She reached out to people in other countries, using online tools to translate her messages into French, German, Chinese, and Dutch.

She wrote to musicians, like:

She wrote to actors, like:

She corresponded with scientists, including:

She talked to public officials, like the Congresswoman to whom she said, "I am committed to the issues you fight for every day in New York's 28th district, even though I don't live in the 28th district or in the State of New York."

She wrote to the Assistant Commissioner of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police,

And last but not least, to the Right Honourable Stephen Harper, who is the Canadian Prime Minister.

Now, I tell you all this in part because it's funny. I mean, she wrote to Chewbacca the Wookie. But I also tell you this because I think it really says something about Emily.

Because the thing about all her emails, is that she wrote people because she thought they were important. And the people I haven't put in this list, are all the people that she wrote from her everyday life--all the teachers, and bus drivers, and friends, and family, and friends of our parents, and my friends...

There were just so many people, that she loved so much, and she wanted to talk to them all the time. And it didn't matter to her if you ran a cash register, or you ran Canada. She adored everyone she knew, and everyone she didn't know, and once she met you, she would never forget anything about you for the rest of her life.

So I guess that’s how I’d describe her. She was a little person with a huge heart, who would never let self-consciousness get in the way of making new friends.

She was interested and delighted by everything and everyone. And she was unique. She was totally unlike anyone else.

The world is a much less interesting place now that she’s not in it. And I miss her so much that I can’t even say.

And if that doesn’t describe her well enough, all I can do is shrug my shoulders and say, “I guess you had to be there.”

Evan Stoner
June 8th, 2008